HOLLAND COLLEGE • November 1, 2001

INSIDE
 
 
 

 

College

Bigfoot mystery

Milkman calls

Heavy hopes

Royal future

Home school

Down's Syndrome

Gay pride

STDs

Celtic revival

Masons:
100 years

Chef shortage

Woodcutters obsolete?

City Hall wired

Bootlegging: the Maritime way?

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FRONT PAGE

    
Gay and proud of it:
Search for a place in society

By Mary Moszynski
Staff reporter
It was lunch time. Grade 12 student Brendan Lea plopped down in a seat next to a friend.
"If there was a movement to kill all of the gay people, like the Holocaust," Lea asked, "would you participate in doing the actual killing?"
His friend looked at him blankly. "No, but I'd give a donation."
Now 21, Lea is a third-year religious studies major at the University of Prince Edward Island. He's also gay. Lea stiffened as he told the story. He became terse. His words clipped. His voice tight. Just moments earlier he had been relaxed. His feet up, his hands waving in the air as he made a point.
The issue of gay rights and the public's reaction to them has been in the news across the country of late, centering on an Ontario student who can't take his boyfriend to the prom at the Catholic school he attends.
Mark Hall, 17, is taking his case to court, claiming his human rights have been violated.
The case has highlighted the relationship between homosexuality and religion.
It's an issue Lea has struggled with for years. In the Ontario case, the school board is following the rules set out by the church, he said. But that doesn't make it right.
"By saying that one person cannot show love for a man or a woman of the same sex, at probably one of the more important events in young life, they are saying you are not as worthy of love as another person or we do not find this kind of love acceptable."
Father Lynden Hogan disagrees. He is the chancellor of the Diocese of Charlottetown. Based on scripture, the Catholic Church has always claimed homosexual acts are immoral, he said. However, one can love the sinner but hate the sin.
"The person themselves can be loved and supported, but not the act itself," he said. "They must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity.
"Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided." The church states homosexuals "close the sexual act to the gift of life because there is no possibility of producing children." That, as well as the idea that man and woman were made to complement each other, is why the church views homosexuality as being against the will of God, Hogan said.
However, if homosexuals live a chaste life, they can live as a disciple of God.
"Since sex is to produce life and homosexual acts do not produce life, if they live a life without sex, then they are living as God's child."
These beliefs are based on the Bible, said Hogan, citing Romans 1:24-27:
"That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desire. Even the women turned against their natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other.
And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other." But citing scripture and interpreting it literally is not the way to understand homosexuality today, said Eric Fullerton, a retired United Church minister from the Cornwall area.
"They (literalists) want to take certain verses in scripture and that has to be it. Unfortunately they only pick out the verses that they insist upon, that favour their attitudes."
The Old Testament also states a menstruating woman is an abomination to God.
Almost all denominations would not accept this as truth anymore, but some still accept the idea that homosexuals are an abomination to God. Fullerton said the United Church's policy is more inclusive than many other denominations.
"The United Church policy is that all people are equal."
The policy, established in 1925, says all people who through faithfulness and obedience to Jesus Christ have become church members, are entitled to full church privileges.
In 1988, the church's council debated the meaning of the word "all" and decided it included "all, regardless of sexual orientation."
"It was a very wonderful statement but it was a very costly one for the church," said Fullerton. "They lost a lot of money and stuff from people who are very bigoted and homophobic. But the church has maintained that stand."
But even today some congregations are more liberal than others, he added. Fullerton said the idea of inclusiveness is the centre of the gospel. "Everybody is a child of God. Just because a person happens to have a different orientation doesn't mean that God doesn't love this child," he said."These children, many people who are gay or lesbian, were baptized in the church. We say that they belong to the church and then over something which they have no control, we say ŽOh well you can't belong.' That isn't the gospel."
As a teenager growing up in a small, rural Island community, Lea attended the United Church and a more fundamental youth group which called homosexuality immoral. When he first started questioning his own sexuality, Lea had to decide whether the beliefs of those people were the same as his own and whether they would accept his lifestyle.
"I was questioning is this what I want, is this who I really am?"

   Even when not sure of his own sexuality, Lea said he never thought of being gay as "wrong."
"Me being the little shit disturber that I am, (I) was always arguing against that because even at that time I was for equal treatment for everyone. I wasn't discriminatory to any one group because of who they chose to love or who they decided to sleep with," he said.
"It was all right for other people, but in my mind it wasn't right for me." Eventually, Lea discovered what was right for him.
"There was an epic battle in my mind between the omnipresent, almost invincible god and the ever beautiful, ever stunning drag queen," he explained. "And eventually I came to one point where the drag queen just whipped" off her six inch stiletto heels and killed the god."
Lea said he started to question whether he was gay in grade 10 or 11 after he found himself being attracted to male classmates and finding it difficult to relate with females on a romantic level.
He tried to suppress these feelings and it wasn't until Lea was in his second year of university that he "came out" and told a close friend he was gay.
Only then did he feel completely comfortable with his sexuality. He had to do it alone. There were no support groups within the school for gay students.
"There were a couple of times, not often, when I did feel like ŽHey, why not end it all.' But I was like ŽNo, that means they win,'" said Lea.
"I was just getting to a point where I was like is this what life is really like? Is this what society is really like? And did I want to live in a world where this is how people treated one another?"
He came to realize there seemed to be little tolerance shown for any minorities, anyone who might be viewed as "different." Eventually, his own character saved him.
"I'm a stubborn son of a bitch." One of the more difficult tasks faced by gay people coming out is telling their family.
"I know a lot of people who are absolutely terrified to come out to their parents because they're afraid of how they will react," Lea said. "I've known parents to disown children and almost cut off all ties from them altogether."
Lea's mother died of cancer while he was in Grade 12 - before he was able to tell her he was gay. He decided to give his dad a "hint" last year. "I said ŽI may or not be gay, but this is what I'm going through and I just thought you should know'," said Lea.
"At that time I knew I was gay. I just wasn't sure how he would react to it."
His father told him it wasn't what he wanted for his son.
"Whether we like it or not our parents have a life mapped out for us," said Lea.
When Lea finally told his father he was gay, he presented his father with a couple of support groups. Today, his father is a member of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and is planning on marching in the gay pride parade this summer.
"Because he is my dad and he is part of the older generation, I was kind of nervous to see how he would react, but it all worked out in the end," said Lea.
Today, although Lea may be comfortable with himself, some people are no longer comfortable with him.
"I have some people today that I knew in high school or knew through other organizations that won't look at me or won't talk to me because I am gay."
Others tell him he's "only going through a phase." Some are more threatening.
"I've been called a 'fucking queer' at a bar," said Lea. "And once I was walking and a car drove by and the people yelled 'Hey faggot' at me."
Lea said he tries to deal with these encounters with a sense of humour.
"I just turned around to the car and said 'Thank you for noticing.'"
The harassment says more about the tormentor than it does about him, he said.
"I've come to the point where it's their problem not mine," said Lea. "I have to have a sense of humour because homophobia will always be here in one form or the other."
It's a realization born out of being teased from elementary to high school, then realizing, "This is who I am. Screw it if they don't like me."
People tend to be homophobic because of ignorance and fear, Lea said. Also, many homophobic people have never actually met an openly gay person and are frightened of something different. He also said many people have a negative perception of gay culture.
"They see a gay pride parade on Much Music or something and they see a bunch of half-naked or totally naked people prancing around on a float to dance music. But it's not always that loud and it's not always that tame," he said. "Gays and lesbians have hid their sexuality for so long it's almost an over explosion of it."
The key to overcoming homophobia is teaching tolerance, said Lea. However, the education must start at an early age. By reading inclusive books to kindergarten children and talking about homosexuality in sexual education classes in junior high, people will learn to be more understanding.
Until then, Lea said he's going to live his life honestly and take what comes. "I'm at the point in my life where I can't control it, so just let me grab the bull by the horns and ride life for all she's worth."