By Matt Draper
The Surveyor

So, here it is.

Last week, a girl gave me her phone number at a bar and told me to call her. So I did. She invited me over to her place, we hung out a little. We then went to a bar with some of her friends. I am not really sure what the hell happened but one moment she is telling me about her tattoos and the next, I am sitting in a booth drinking beer while she is in a booth across the bar with her friends for the next half an hour. Evidently I failed the audition.

"In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man fights from an open raft."--H.L. Mencken.

So this is a call for advice.

The art of seduction is a subtle process my rather blunt mind has yet to grasp. There is no magic formula of that much, I'm sure. Well, OK, maybe there is, but those who are aware of it are keeping a closer eye on it than a neurotic father on his 14-year-old daughter.

I admit, I need help and this is me asking for it. Any of you out there who say the opposite sex is clueless, this is your chance to stop complaining and do something about it.

This isn't just for my own benefit. I will publish all decent responses to this letter in the next column I write. Names will be withheld if requested.

C'mon ladies. There has to be someone out there you might go for if he wasn't so dense about how to compose himself. Well, now you can help the poor lad out.

Please, nothing that has to do with physical attributes. Some are blessed, some are not. I am looking for hints pertaining to attitude, behaviour and the like. Tips helping the less fortunate of the male species get their foot in the door is what I want.

Time to ante up, ladies. If you think the realm of guy-dom has a lot of room for improvement, here is your forum to make mention of it, and possible cures. Don't be shy, anonymity is promised if asked for. Say your piece and hope for the best. Without your help some of us are, pardon the pun, screwed.

If you chooses to include sex tips, please keep them as clean as possible. Nothing too graphic.

E-mail@xMDraper@Charlottetown.ChstulPO